I drove tonight
For an hour on end
Loud music
Base up
Just to feel the wind

My hair a rat nest
My laugh an ease away

I stood in this place
Watching the cars go
Some stay
I looked at the wind
Colorless
As it goes
I felt the face move
On the cloud
In the sky
Sun doze
I watched the music fall
As it dripped
From the eyes

I asked myself please
Tell me what you want
From the lie
An answer of something
A desire
A forgot?

I looked beyond value
A look of pure sin
I look on the what if
The last time
We began

I sang the old songs
Refused the old roads
Looked at the message
And the unknown
I laughed at the times
I cried at the moments
I left the wind suck
All of the torments

I said please
Take it away
Make it stink me clean
Steal the love of the want
And the need of the greed
I let it go
I gave it away
I said be with her
Please don’t you stay

For some reason
Parts
Always go back
When I know I shouldn’t
But I can’t imagine that

The life without someone
The days without the man

I wonder

I wonder

Will I ever understand

I looked at the times
The years long and gone

I sang so loud
That I hurt my own ears
With the songs

I guess it all comes down
To the long ending fear
Of those days spent alone
Without someone dear

I saw the times today
On the paper spent in red

He is the one at war
But you are in your head

It’s the moment of the truth
The message and the meaning
It’s a feeling unfelt
But an uneasy dealing

I sprang to the times
When we were at our best
I looked at the moments to see if there was rest

So good bye

Again long night
With friends
At the end

For some reason
On the silent nights
Thats when it begins
It’s when I think of what was

And I begin the melt

It’s not a break down
A sad or tragic thing

It’s just a wonder

Of what would it have to bring

Would it work again
Would it bring it back
When do you look at the what if factors

And say that is that?

Where do you walk away
To see it’s all at the end

When do you seperate that this

From the friend

I still don’t know the answer
Years have gone on by
I refuse to watch the news
I will not lie

I look for the answers
In everything I do
I try to let go
But I can not move

I stood in the doorway
Of my if this factored life

I looked at the dream
Of what would of been wife
I saw the goodbye night
And the early morning hello

I’m still left in a stand still

Not knowing


Is all I know