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About Me Official Beta Tester Varied Artist whymebeacause22/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 5 Years
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Time

Sat Jul 11, 2009, 9:37 AM
  • Mood: Confused
  • Listening to: Ryan Star we might fall
  • Eating: nope
  • Drinking: xxx vitamin water
I have to go home today. Back to my room with his stuff, where our life was happening, with the time teller on my computer saying how many days until I had him here. I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under my feet and I just don't know if I can get up this time. I've been strong the past few days laughing it off and telling myself I'm fine. I slept last night without the pills. I can't stand it anymore. I called my Aunt to tell her I just need a few days of silence at her house to be stronger again to know my life isn't over. I feel so crushed, so hurt so lost so I don't know. I'm here but I just its nothing I did, it's just the fact that I can not fix it, I can't heal it this time and that hurts me.

I feel sick, I've hardly eaten, my color is gone, my lips are faded, I just feel like inside I'm dead. I feel so dead.


But even if I've applied for more jobs than I can count and I told myself to turn over a new leaf and stand and fight for what will be better. What will make it better, what will make it all worth it.

I will not go away from him. I can not walk away. I can not abandon him.

I just have to figure out how to be that silent shadow without falling......


because today I've only been at the edge of tears a few times, but man .....




it just hurts


but im hanging in there


im trying to just stand

and so far its working



so far i am stronger then i thought i was


but it hurts more than i can express




War- something you can not fix




im so sorry i can not fix it

Comments


thanks for the watch! :hug: :D

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"Learn from the past, concentrate on the present, and fear not the future for it does not exist and never shall. There is only the now..."

I'm Zhuqiaomon in dA's Digimon Crew.
thanks for the fav

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I wish I had all the world to write, instead of just having all the world.
np ^^ lol

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"Learn from the past, concentrate on the present, and fear not the future for it does not exist and never shall. There is only the now..."

I'm Zhuqiaomon in dA's Digimon Crew.
Hey Hallie.. are you on Facebook? If so, add me.. unia_kianna@hotmail.com :wave:

--
My website: [link]
Another with my artistic friends: [link]
we're facebooked now!

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I wish I had all the world to write, instead of just having all the world.
nice.. :D
sorry, i mostly write in Finnish there but at least i am able to see what's going on in your life.. and you'll see some glimples of mine..

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My website: [link]
Another with my artistic friends: [link]
i think its neat! :)

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I wish I had all the world to write, instead of just having all the world.
Thank you for the faves! =)
Hey Hallie! We haven't talked in a while and I hope everything is going good for you (:

New account:

~ashleymariephoto

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what a brilliant star you are; baby, you're a thrill. :heart:
Thank you so much for the favorite. Warms my heart right up.
thank you very much for the favourite! :)

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You guys don't know how to enjoy your food...
- Admit it - you didn't manage to use the cutlery!
Thanks for the favorite! =]
-taylor
:iconthanksforfaving:

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Time is not important, only life is important!
Thank you to adding me to your favorites!

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"Every blade of grass, each leaf, each seperate floret and petal, is an inspiration speaking of hope."
- Richard Jefferies
Thank you very kindly for the watch :)

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Let the whole world see and know that things which were cast down are being raised up, and things which had grown old are being made new...
thanks for all those favorites! :)

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God gave me sin,
I've got to get born.

I've got a second chance to inhabit the living.
no prob!

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I wish I had all the world to write, instead of just having all the world.
Hello Hallie

Thank you so much for adding Oh Very Young to your :+favlove:



:peace:


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"Being happy does not mean that everything is perfect. It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections." - Maya Angelou
More of my PHOTOGRAPHY please CLICK HERE
Such an awesome gallery Hallie!
Thankyou very much for the favourite. :)

--
What's done is done
It can not be changed
Live not for the past
but for what lies ahead.
~ Darren Domin & Tim Page ~


Photography - *Rachabelle
thank you so much for all the comments and faves! much apperciated.
Thanks for the fav :D

--
People always ask me, "Are you a lover or a fighter?"
I answer "both" because I fight for love.

Live~Laugh~Love
Thanks a lot for the :+fav: on Almost a statue! It is one of my personal favorites, and I was so sad nobody seemed to appreciate it...

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I live in kernel space.

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